L'ode

Dear Blog,
You've been in existence for almost three years now and I'm sorry to say it but lately I've been questioning whether or not I want to permit any duration of your life. I feel horrible saying so, but it's true. You have been neglected - much like all other items and living things I have promised my time to - and I feel that this is yet another failure in my long streak of problematic conjecture. For this, dear Blog, I am sorry. I have found two (and only two) long-term relationships that I have not let dwindle, fester, or crack, only one of which I have never wanted out of. These two relationships, with my education and with my closest friend, have almost always received the attention and care they have deserved and have been the foci of my responsibility ellipse, equally placed apart from the center. The problem then is: what resides in the center of this ellipse of responsibility and what have I allowed to fly out of its gravitational bend, and then float away? Blog, I am afraid you are one of those things I have lost sight of.
There may still be hope; don't let me lose you yet. Do not tear or crumple this possible rejection letter and let it find its way into the trash (oh, Blog, I do hope you would recycle!). For in order to have a parameter of gravitational hold, there must be a center to which that gravity pertains. And while this center, to which the foci rest closest to and the ellipse surrounds, should be known, I am not entirely sure how well it is understood. While, too, this center should be me, I have not recently been residing in the center of my responsibility - I have not been my own leading role. This is changing, Blog. Change is coming (or here), so don't lose hope. I am slowly inching closer to the center and to you and maybe my gravity will then be so strong as to restart this relationship. However I need you to be patient.
I hope you can do that for me as you've already done so much.
Just hold tight.
Thanks for understanding,
Kelsi