When Ceilings Become Floors
Went to SF gay pride on Sunday (and missed the whole parade)! It was really fun, I'm glad I went, but there have been some things on my mind since...
A small boy playing in his mother's backyard has no reason to be judged. When he imagines he lives in his own, original, world where everything is upside-down, he's thought of as cute and is encouraged to play more. He's set up on play dates with other boys his age and for Christmas or a birthday is given a doctor's set to comply his curious and immature dreams of exploration and his mother's well planned-out dream of success for her son. A questioning young boy turns those fun play dates with his matched-up friends into a session for learning and pretending: "Lift up your shirt so I can take a heartbeat"; "Pull down your pants so I can make sure everything is okay." And not his cooperative patient's mother nor his think anything of this because they're children and it's okay.
This is all okay, of course, until the boy surpasses the age of say, seven, when his imagination should, in his mother's eyes (as well as society's), shift from 'when ceilings become floors' and 'Dr. Garett' to more age-appropriate things like pretending to be Jerry Rice or Babe Ruth. But what if young boy Garett wants to continue living in his walk-on-ceiling world where he has a dad instead of a mom and the sky is red not blue? Because, this birthday, he blows out eight candles, and this means that he must suddenly become a new boy? A new child? Isn't being yourself the most important of all? That's what mom always says to me, he thinks as he looks down at the soccer field cake his mother got for him, he's faking a smile, I wanted a cowboy cake! Now Garett is twelve and still dreams of a place where ceilings become floors. He follows his mother to church every Sunday, where he learns "the lessons," as his mother calls them: all of the holy abominations. Rumors, stealing, abortion, pre-marital sex... He had to recite them all every Sunday morning after church, this was his mother's way of 'bringing my boy up right'. A boy becoming a man who sits in pews half listening to the homily, pretending to be in a church completely opposite of this; what would it be like? I'd be sitting on a couch, eating potato chips, as Father...No, Mother Sanderson rapped the homily about doing wrong, not doing right. An eighteen year-old, grown man with a charming smile says goodbye to his mother for a month, as anxious Roger waits in the car for their road trip to begin. "I love you too, Mom." He kisses her and his whiskers scratch his mother's face. Could this be Garett? The same little boy who dreamed about a world with ceilings that become floors? No. It's Garett, the man who still dreams about a world where ceilings become floors. He gets in the car and drives off, and at the first red light he leans over and kisses Roger. "Ready, baby?"
Twenty-two and thanksgiving is just around the corner. Garett comes home and presses the play button on his answering machine, blinking with red lights (he imagines it to be a steady yellow light). "Hi, Hun it's Me. Look, I was wondering if Roger's parents are still going away for the holiday so I know how big of a turkey to get. Call me back." Roger swivels around in his chair and raises his eyebrows at Garett who joins him with synchronized deep breath. "You sure you want to do this?" "She's my mom."
A boy living in an upside-down world is okay for all...But a man? That's risky business. Why, though?
Because ceilings aren't floors.
Because a church group doesn't meet like a group of attention-seeking teens.
Because the bible doesn't teach pro-choice or 'man laying with man is perfectly fine'.
Because a mother doesn't show her child Disney movies where a romantic interest lay between two male characters.
Because the world is too fucked up to see a woman's huge set of--brains or a man's long and wide--imagination.
Because an upside-down world would be one no one would be comfortable in, a world requiring thinking and adjusting. A diverse world. An open world. With new, bright ideas, you ask yourself, Is the world ready for this? When the question should be flipped upside-down to ask: Why hasn't the world already seen this?
A small boy playing in his mother's backyard has no reason to be judged. When he imagines he lives in his own, original, world where everything is upside-down, he's thought of as cute and is encouraged to play more. He's set up on play dates with other boys his age and for Christmas or a birthday is given a doctor's set to comply his curious and immature dreams of exploration and his mother's well planned-out dream of success for her son. A questioning young boy turns those fun play dates with his matched-up friends into a session for learning and pretending: "Lift up your shirt so I can take a heartbeat"; "Pull down your pants so I can make sure everything is okay." And not his cooperative patient's mother nor his think anything of this because they're children and it's okay.
This is all okay, of course, until the boy surpasses the age of say, seven, when his imagination should, in his mother's eyes (as well as society's), shift from 'when ceilings become floors' and 'Dr. Garett' to more age-appropriate things like pretending to be Jerry Rice or Babe Ruth. But what if young boy Garett wants to continue living in his walk-on-ceiling world where he has a dad instead of a mom and the sky is red not blue? Because, this birthday, he blows out eight candles, and this means that he must suddenly become a new boy? A new child? Isn't being yourself the most important of all? That's what mom always says to me, he thinks as he looks down at the soccer field cake his mother got for him, he's faking a smile, I wanted a cowboy cake! Now Garett is twelve and still dreams of a place where ceilings become floors. He follows his mother to church every Sunday, where he learns "the lessons," as his mother calls them: all of the holy abominations. Rumors, stealing, abortion, pre-marital sex... He had to recite them all every Sunday morning after church, this was his mother's way of 'bringing my boy up right'. A boy becoming a man who sits in pews half listening to the homily, pretending to be in a church completely opposite of this; what would it be like? I'd be sitting on a couch, eating potato chips, as Father...No, Mother Sanderson rapped the homily about doing wrong, not doing right. An eighteen year-old, grown man with a charming smile says goodbye to his mother for a month, as anxious Roger waits in the car for their road trip to begin. "I love you too, Mom." He kisses her and his whiskers scratch his mother's face. Could this be Garett? The same little boy who dreamed about a world with ceilings that become floors? No. It's Garett, the man who still dreams about a world where ceilings become floors. He gets in the car and drives off, and at the first red light he leans over and kisses Roger. "Ready, baby?"
Twenty-two and thanksgiving is just around the corner. Garett comes home and presses the play button on his answering machine, blinking with red lights (he imagines it to be a steady yellow light). "Hi, Hun it's Me. Look, I was wondering if Roger's parents are still going away for the holiday so I know how big of a turkey to get. Call me back." Roger swivels around in his chair and raises his eyebrows at Garett who joins him with synchronized deep breath. "You sure you want to do this?" "She's my mom."
A boy living in an upside-down world is okay for all...But a man? That's risky business. Why, though?
Because ceilings aren't floors.
Because a church group doesn't meet like a group of attention-seeking teens.
Because the bible doesn't teach pro-choice or 'man laying with man is perfectly fine'.
Because a mother doesn't show her child Disney movies where a romantic interest lay between two male characters.
Because the world is too fucked up to see a woman's huge set of--brains or a man's long and wide--imagination.
Because an upside-down world would be one no one would be comfortable in, a world requiring thinking and adjusting. A diverse world. An open world. With new, bright ideas, you ask yourself, Is the world ready for this? When the question should be flipped upside-down to ask: Why hasn't the world already seen this?
posted by Kelsi Jensen | 5:04 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home